10/52. twenty nineteen

“a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2019”

Lily

on sundays she takes a nice long bath at the end of the day and washes her hair

she then asks me to braid it into small braids

on monday, before going off to school, she undoes all the braids and is left with a crimped out mane for the rest of the week

happy monday friends

around here. january

i once heard that it takes half the time of a relationship to get over that said relationship once it’s over

if that’s true, which i sort of found it to be after my divorce to my first husband, i still have four more years left to get over our break up with miami

i am not going to lie, it has been a struggle

especially during this eternal winter (and the previous ones)

there is still not a lot that sparks joy for me in this town surrounded by mountains

there are days when i curse ever having moved here and i miss everything about miami (minus the humidity and the roaches)

since living in ashveille for the past three years, i have never felt so lonely and depressed (and angry)

sure there are good days

but it truly feels like they don’t outweigh the bad days

regardless, i try to push through and i function

i smile, i parent, i get house chores done…. i do like i’m supposed to and expected to

some days better than others (like all of us i suppose)

that sad feeling deep within me of not being where i want to be never leaves me though

sunny days help lift my mood

but i have realized that i am a tropical girl at heart (regardless of complaining about the humidity when living in miami)

i like tropical greens best

and tropical fruits and foods to go with it

i prefer summer layers to winter layers

i am inspired by (and more motivated by) bright colors rather than the sad browns and greys that surround me for far too long every single year living here

when i visit past miami posts, i am reminded of how full of color and friends our lives were there

family life aside, everything here takes so much effort for me

i am of course the only one who feels this way

both William and Lily are thriving here

and because they are thriving the way they are, it makes the thought of moving selfish and impossible

in the meanwhile i am going to keep trying to just do

and to look forward to those tropical greens and sunshine which are coming for spring break

happy friday friends

the first day of a new year

my favorite rainbow

a kitchen moment with ginger, her favorite red panda

there are many faces and moods to this wild nine year old

this guy who i wish still had a fenced in yard

the two of them together tho

a favorite room and where i spend most of my time

golden girl during golden hour

a bright kitchen window sill corner

i still love orchids

morning light

afternoon light

sunday bath. a sunday ritual

a favorite reading corner

a snow day

a snow day sewing project

rebel girl. nine so far

from the age seven to eight she grew almost four inches

from the age eight to nine she grew just a little over three inches

in our kitchen the other day she told me that she hates being a kid and that she can’t wait to be a teenager

we feel differently about this because i can certainly wait for her to be a teen

although, i have to tell you, she already very much acts like a teen these days

there is attitude

and mood swings

her favorite color is black

she hates the color pink

her body is changing and we talked all about its future changes with her pediatrician at her check up this year (period included although Lily has known about it for quite some years now)

her style is very much her own style and she knows quite well how she sees herself and how she wants to put herself out there to the world

like she always has

since she was very little actually

yet, despite all of these pre-teen growing signs, she still climbs into my lap every morning after she eats her breakfast and asks for snuggle cuddles in her bed before going to sleep at night

and all i can do is be there for her and try to hold onto every moment because time really does go by too fast

happy friday friends


8/52. twenty nineteen

“a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2019”

Lily

she got to spend the whole weekend at her bestie’s house while William and i had ourselves a weekend in nashville

something we have not done since Lily was less than one year old

happy monday friends!

hope you all had a great weekend

6/52. twenty nineteen

“a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2019”

Lily

living her best life outside in seventy degree february weather

we had a heat wave last week

we realize that it is due to climate change but we are not complaining

not about the break from the cold anyway

happy monday friends

christmas. twenty eighteen

for some reason christmas feels like forever ago already

to tell you the truth, i had forgotten all about these pictures and the fact that i hadn’t written about it yet

Lily began her christmas break from school on wednesday the 19th and she and William drove straight to west virginia to go spend some days with family

because i was still working full time, i was originally supposed to be working during the holidays so they were to return on the 23rd and we were going to have a quiet family christmas at home here in asheville

however, my work schedule changed (i am no longer working full time) and because they were having such an amazing time with family in west virginia, i ended up driving there myself on the day they were supposed to leave

it must have been around november when Lily told us that she no longer believed in santa because all of her good girlfriends in school had told her he was not real

that she knew it was William and i who were the real santa

fair enough. she found us out

we told her that although papa and i help santa, his magic and the magic of christmas is indeed real

on christmas eve, surrounded by family, snow falling and with her smaller cousins believing and excited for santa, her views changed

out of the blue she felt excited about the magic of santa and just like all the previous years she could not wait to get home to her grandparents house, write santa a note and leave milk and cookies for him and carrots for the reindeer

i am not going to lie, it felt good to have her believe once again

it made me feel like she is still the child i see in her despite how big she seems these days

although i was less invested in celebrating the holidays this year, we had ourselves a magical white christmas in west virginia surrounded by family

the way we always have