Joining Juliana at Shakti Mama in this week’s self-portrait challenge.
This week’s challenge: the self as art
Lately I have been feeling very….paralyzed.
It has been almost 1 year since I stopped working and I’m still not used to not have to go to work.
Actually, let me rephrase that, I’m not used to not earning my own money.
I started working at the age of 15, I’m turning 38 soon and I’m feeling quite unaccomplished these days.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving being a full time mom to Lily and in my heart it is what I want to do and how I want things to be however, I’m having a really hard time not earning my own money and not coming up with ways that I can earn money AND be a stay at home mom.
I don’t want to be dependent on Will for money but yet, I feel paralyzed.
I would like to thank Juliana for coming up with such a great challenge.
It gave me an opportunity to draw and color.
I would have finished coloring the drawing but Lily woke up from her nap.
Maybe that’s the symbolism behind this self-portrait. It’s a work in progress. Like myself.
A constant work in progress.
(Please vote for us here. Thank you!)
paralyzed
awesome. and i voted.
@Jess,
thanks and thanks.
Claudia, I know it’s hard. I felt all that stuff you’re sayin’, but keep in mind that this is just for a time, a short time, a very short time when they are babies. Try to relish and savor this time as it doesn’t last long, and then it’s gone. You have plenty time ahead to work. Lily will start a little preschool before long and you will get back to work. Believe me when I say, in the future, looking back, you will have no regrets on this time spent as a non-working mother, and you will yearn to go back to that precious time. It is the best thing you can do for miss Lily and for yourself too. You’re doing a great job and it shows with your “cool” kid! I love you! Keep the faith!
@Min,
thanks Min. I needed to hear that. I know you are right and thank you for the words of encouragement. Love you!
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Yes, I agree with Min … and I need to remind myself of this too
. Our little girls won’t be so little for too long, and this period will be so so important for the rest of their lives, this period during which they can experience our unconditional love for them. It makes a difference.
But I understand, and I, too, feel the pressure to work and to make money because I’m used to being independent. But, this is a gift to us to, this not having to work for this short while. We need to try and enjoy this time and embrace this time. Lol, I think I’m writing this more for myself
.
No need to feel paralyzed … it’s good to experience this, but let it go and try to embrace your beauty, your gentleness, your love for Lily and motherhood. You have so much to give to the world in this way.
Much, much love and peach xoxoxox,
Juliana
@Juliana,
we need to keep those things in mind but it’s so hard to do some moments.
You really captured the feeling of being paralyzed in your art work…it’s astounding!
And don’t worry about being a stay at home mom for now. The time will go by so quickly and before you know it she will be moving away from you and you will be wishing you could just tug her back and relive these days…well most of them…all over again.
Relax!
@Marisa,
thank you and I will try to relax.