kids can be so mean
when i first moved to new jersey from portugal, i was just short of my fourteenth birthday
i was a typical european girl who dressed european, didn’t shave my legs, didn’t wear make-up, played with my barbies still and looked my age instead of ten or so years older
it was nineteen eighty seven and pretty in pink, sixteen candles and Molly Ringwald were the “it” things at the time so almost every girl in my new school wore long silk blouses over leggings, long strands of fake pearls, hair spray and make-up
they looked more like they should be my teachers rather than my school mates
they thought i looked weird
i thought they looked even weirder
but it wasn’t so much the girls that made fun of me for the way i dressed or sounded
it was the boys
the boys were the worst!!!
because of the boys i would sneak my lunches outside in the freezing cold because i was ashamed of the homemade chicken sandwiches on good bread my mom would make for me (delicious by the way)
every time i opened my lunch bag i would cringe because it would stink up the lunch room (in a good way)
they would stare and make comments while eating their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on fake bread (wonder)
because of the boys (and some girls) i would make up excuses to not participate in physical education class due to my hairy legs
because of the boys i would shy away from answering questions when i knew the answer due to my “funny” accent
it’s not easy growing up
most kids do not often accept different
and i was different
for a little while anyway
until i started to adapt, change within myself and within the american way
and they started to adapt to me
one thing i want Lily to have as she grows is a good sense of self
a good sense of self and an acceptance of different
because we are all different
and not only is that more than ok but it’s also what makes the world go round
Yuliya
May 30, 2012 @ 8:09 am
Hello Claudia,
I have been reading your blog for a couple of months now, but this is my first time posting a comment. I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone in your teenage immigrant experiences. I moved from Ukraine to the U.S. when I was almost 15 years old, and a lot of what you say rings a bell. I too, was ashamed of my accent and would shy away from answering questions in the class. It was brutal…
My family and I lived in a small suburban town in the Midwest. Needless to say, the kids in my school had a pretty narrow worldview. Besides a Mexican girl (who had no problem speaking English), my sister and I were the only immigrant kids of the school. All of my schoolmates were white middle class and friends since kindergarten…
Today, 12 years later I am back in Ukraine. It was my choice to go back to my home country with my Ukrainian American husband and start my family here. Guess what, it is not any easier. Here, I am also considered to be “weird” and a foreigner. So…I am just somewhere between the lands hanging above the ocean. It’s not a bad view from here though.
I understand exactly (well, at least as much as I can) what you are saying. Acceptance is big word for me. Children need to be taught that word from early on.
Good luck
Claudia
May 30, 2012 @ 12:00 pm
@Yulia,
hello Yulia, welcome to lilmuselily! thank you for being a new reader and leaving a comment. coming into this country as a foreigner is so hard! no matter what age really. kids have a hard time, adults have a hard time.
i too was surrounded by upper and middle class white suburban teenagers with the exception of a few asian kids who kept to themselves.
my whole family has since returned to portugal and i too had the choice to go but by then, i felt more american than portuguese so here i am and there they are.
i hope that living in miami, a multi cultural place, Lily will have a better understanding and acceptance of different. it will definitely be something that i will work hard on her with.
i wish you all the best in the ukraine. i always hear it’s a beautiful place.
take care,
Claudia
ps- how did you stumble on my blog?
Yuliya
May 30, 2012 @ 6:37 pm
Thank you, Claudia for your welcoming words. Yes, there are a lot of beautiful natural places in Ukraine. My husband and I are in the process of finding some land to build our house and grow a garden. I am not exactly sure about how I found your blog. I think that I was looking for some information about Portugal…I have never been there and would love to visit Portugal and Spain in the near future. I am an avid traveler and was lucky enough to see many places. Although, I always find warm countries, such as Greece and Italy, Mexico, to be the most alluring–they just seem to fit my personality better.
p.s. I can definitely relate to your curly hair
Claudia
May 31, 2012 @ 1:49 pm
@Yuliya,
how wonderful to be able to buy land, build your own home and garden. Will and i often daydream of doing the same but i think it would be in wv where he is from and we are just not quite ready for such solitude and cold/freezing winters.
portugal is a beautiful country and you should definitely visit it if you like traveling. it’s very different from spain and italy. i like to go in may and september. the weather is still warm and you avoid all the tourists.
as far as hair is concerned, oh boy…. mine is the most hormonal i have yet heard of. it has changed so much with time!
have a great day and thanks again for reading and visiting!
Yoly
May 31, 2012 @ 4:33 pm
Oh Claudia, I totally feel for that fourteen year old girl. I would so have been your friend in a heartbeat. You see, I was back and fourth in my childhood and teen years between here and Mexico because my dad had a business. I like you, was always the awkward dressed girl, quite, shy, bookworm, and would get brutally teased about my looks. I became more confident in High School and found my real friends and best of all, my hubby 🙂 I too want Lily to be herself, and never ever feel inferior than the rest because she’s a little different. That’s a big reason why we are homeschooling. We are not shielding her from society, we just want her to be free, accepting of differences and a loving human being. I hope she is 🙂
In happier news…can I please have your home address? I have a little something for you. You could email it to me.
Have a lovely day! You are a beautiful person then(I’m sure) and now 🙂