a hard lesson

yesterday was a hard day

not just because of the long flight from the day before or because Lily woke us up before 5am but because i had to teach Lily a lesson i have not been wanting to teach her

you know, one of those lessons my mom taught me a few times and had me in tears every time

this has been a lesson that has been coming for months and yesterday due to tiredness, i couldn’t hold off any longer

Lily has always been really good about cleaning up her toys

it is something that she/we do several times during the day and definitely at night before dinner

but, for the past few months, she has been kind of bad about it

i have to ask her several times, she procrastinates, asks me to do it with her and i end up doing most of it while she gets distracted and continues playing….

anyway, it has been something that we have been fighting/struggling with for a while now

yesterday when i asked her several times to clean up the toys she had spread all over her bedroom floor and was no longer playing with, she did everything but do so

after i gave her a few warnings that i would put all those toys in a garbage bag and take the toys away (in the garbage), she still failed to clean them up

so, i did just that

i grabbed a garbage bag, and in front of her put all the toys in it while telling her that i was doing so because she failed to listen and clean them up herself

although she was emotional and trying hard not to cry, she consoled me instead

she gave me hugs and kisses while saying “you’re not mad now mommy?”, “let me give you a hug. and a kiss”

her voice was shaky and she fought back some tears but she was consoling me!!

when i came back from putting the toys in the garbage (in the garage really. i couldn’t really bare throw them away), we had a brief talk about what had just happened

as i tried to ask her how she felt now that her favorite toys were gone (seriously she spends endless hours playing with these things), she tried her hardest to avoid the subject and point to other toys that matter to her and that were still in the room

as if to say, yeah, i’m kind of upset but my kitchen, my winnie the pooh and whatever else is still here

as the day went on, she didn’t mention the toys that were missing. at all!!!

she has been up for hours today already and has been playing with her other toys and has not mentioned the toys that i threw away

meanwhile i am here tortured and kicking myself for what i had to do

i always try to find alternative ways to raise Lily from the way my mom raised me

not because my mom wasn’t/isn’t a good mom but because i believe she was too strict and harsh at times

but not yesterday

no

yesterday i pulled one of my mom’s moves and i am totally sick about it

is it normal for Lily to be so unattached to toys she spends tons of time with?

i remember crying my eyes out and missing my toys like crazy when my mom did this to me

what if she never mentions or misses those toys at all?

what is the point of buying her more toys in the future?

what if she does mention and misses those toys?

do i bring them back?

do i make up a story of how i called the garbage man and asked him to find and bring back her toys? (you can tell i have already thought of a story)

most importantly, what if she doesn’t learn a lesson from this and i will have to continue throwing toys away and she will end up with no toys?

ugh!!!!

have any of you had to do this with your kids?

how did they react?

any advice/comments are greatly appreciated

i am tortured over it

ps- the photo above obviously has nothing to do with this post. but, it was taken yesterday and it was a good moment