omg three is killing me

January 31 2013 043

omg what happened to my sweet girl who used to listen?

oh yeah… she turned three

i had been told (warned) by a few friends and had read on a few blogs that three is the true terrible twos and i so see it now

it is happening

the not listening

i do not even know how many times i have to repeat myself in order to get a point across and even then it’s like it goes in one ear and out the other because she will still do what she wanted to do and not what i asked her not to do

it drives me crazy and makes me feel like a horrible mom all at once

i try

i try to ask nicely the first three (five) times

but then i can’t help but to lose a little patience, and my voice starts getting louder. and louder…

i have even slapped her butt a few times. i am not proud of this. at all

this is not the mom i want to be

constantly yelling and threatening her with playdate cancellations and what have you

i miss the days where things went smoothly and i felt like she and i were the best of friends

these days i feel like i’m her worst enemy (and she’s not even a teenager yet)

she has already told me “mommy, you are angry with me every time”

i cannot even tell you the tears i shed

because even though it’s not every time, it’s a lot more than it used to be

and there are days where i seriously get sick over it

then there is the crying that turns into the fake crying which she actually makes last longer if she is near a mirror because she likes to watch herself cry (wth!!???)

this although annoying i can somewhat handle because i just tell her to go elsewhere so i don’t hear her

either way, it’s new and not pleasant

and let’s not forget the compromising

when i start raising my voice and getting upset with her, she will very calmly look at me and say “mommy, just take a deeeeeeeeeep breath”

she will say this looking at me with those blue eyes of hers that seriously make me want to scream louder and cry for feeling awful altogether

three

three just started and i already cannot wait for four

because it gets better again, right?

it has to

and yet, as awful as three is, it does come with wonderful wonder, imagination, magic and the best of conversations

on its good moments

so, i ask you wise ones who have had three, how did you deal with it?

did you make it out ok?

will there be non screaming days again?

 

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