one of those days

February 15 2013 002

yesterday was one of those days

one of those days that despite the fact that i was happy that i went to sleep the night before listening to the rain and woke up listening to the rain, i was cranky

i woke up thinking about paris, italy and greece

places i have not yet seen and don’t see myself seeing any time in the near future

and on most days it doesn’t matter

except when it does

yesterday morning it mattered

one of those days when i realized that the fact that my sixty eight year old father who has fathered a baby with a woman i don’t know (or anyone in my family), might as well be a total stranger to me

a relationship i have tried very hard in my adult life to work on and cherish but obviously is based on lies

and despite the fact that he might get upset at me for writing it on here, at this point i don’t give a shit

it is my truth

and his lies

so i tried to focused all of that cranky/angry/pissed/anxious energy on cleaning, rearranging and saging the house

and tried to appreciate being in a house

because not too long ago we were still in our one bedroom apartment

and rain sounds so much better in a house

yesterday was one of those days…

but today is a new day

happy saturday

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