around here

have any of you ever had the flu?

if you haven’t, i hope you never do

i wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy

i was down with the flu all of last week

my first time ever getting it

i always thought that the flu was a really bad cold but it is so much more than that

i seriously felt like i was slowly dying

every part of my body ached and every little thing i tried to do (like walk to the bathroom) exhausted me to the point of having to take a nap

i was in bed and on the couch all week

 it was all i could do

i finally started feeling better on saturday

this week i have had the worst cough and constant runny nose but at least i can function

it’s been the unhealthiest of years for me already so far

strep throat, mammogram scare, flu…

not such a great start

being down all week got me missing the ocean more than ever

and got me thinking if i would be just as sick if i lived closer to it

which then had me spiraling down into a depression hole

let’s briefly talk about depression shall we?

i have recently come to the realization that i am a bit of a depressed person

and given that depression is hereditary, it doesn’t surprise me (i think both my parents are depressed people)

i do strive on a daily basis to be a happy person and to be positive

some days are more challenging than others

i don’t think i am alone in this

i think it’s a human trait

some people battle with depression more than others

i definitely do

but not enough for me to think i should be on some kind of meds (i’d rather eat 10 bananas a day. they’re supposed to trigger happiness)

when i do feel depressed, i try to snap out of it

but, more often than not, i like to dig that hole nice and deep and sit in there for a while

it’s just what i do

and once i have had enough of my depression hole, i slowly start climbing my way back to the happy light

it’s a pattern i am quite aware of in my forty four years of age now

i used to think that it was my surroundings and where i was living

and although i’m sure those things have an effect on depression, someone once told me that i may never be fully happy living anywhere

those words have been ringing loudly in my head lately

it’s true

no matter where i have lived, i have always had to deal with levels of depression

it’s just something that i have to live with

no matter where i am

because no matter where i am, it is who i am

and that is someone who has to deal with depression

sorry for the heavy friday talk

but it is something that has been on my mind for a while

have yourselves a happy friday and happy weekend friends

i mean it!

that front tooth is taking forever

morning light

that brown paint color is growing on me. especially during golden hour

vitamin d is important you guys

spring is slowly springing

i cannot stand neck tattoos. real or fake. it doesn’t matter. i do not like them

the usual neighborhood suspects

sunday morning reading

sometimes life sucks. it just does