around here
today after completing two weeks at my full time job, i will receive my first paycheck
the first in nine years
when i first became a full time/stay at home mama nine years ago, not going to work like i had for the past twenty years was a very hard adjustment
in a social way, in a financial way, in a self worth way
at first i counted the years
“wow, it’s been a year since i stopped working and since i received a paycheck”
“wow, it’s been two years”
three…. four….
i think after the fifth year i finally stopped counting
because i had finally assumed and adapted to my new job of full time mama and house wife
and now i am having to slowly adapt to a new job and a big change in my/our lives
things at work are going well
i think the hardest part is having to stand on my feet for eight hours straight
when i get home anywhere between 6 and 6:30pm, we have dinner like usual, Lily goes to bed at around 8pm like usual and i have been falling dead asleep by 9:30pm
not like usual
i sleep hard for about 4-5 hours and have been waking every night this week between 2-3am filled with anxiety and not being able to go to sleep for almost 2 hours only having to wake up at 6am to start the day
all the extra planning that now takes place in our lives is overwhelming
the lack of time i now have to take care of family things puts me in panic mode
sometimes while standing for hours at work with no customers in sight i can’t help but to think and feel like i should be somewhere else
doing something else
like planning Lily’s 9th birthday party, grocery shopping, laundry, prepping dinner….
it is all overwhelming to me at the moment
but so was early motherhood
so hopefully it will get easier
or at least i will learn to adapt
i hope
happy friday and happy weekend friends
a family night out
cocktails on an asheville rooftop
in her art studio
late summer/early autumn flowers
a miami style art scene in asheville. finally
sunday morning cuddles in our bed
making all the prints for her booth at the big crafty in december
Lady Fi
October 6, 2018 @ 5:18 am
A real upheaval for sure! Can’t you work part-time instead as a compromise?
Claudia
October 6, 2018 @ 11:27 am
@Lady Fi,
i am going to try to stick it out full time until the after the holidays and then we shall see. i do think part time would be a better fit.