around here

today after completing two weeks at my full time job, i will receive my first paycheck

 

the first in nine years

when i first became a full time/stay at home mama nine years ago, not going to work like i had for the past twenty years was a very hard adjustment

in a social way, in a financial way, in a self worth way

at first i counted the years

“wow, it’s been a year since i stopped working and since i received a paycheck”

“wow, it’s been two years”

three…. four….

i think after the fifth year i finally stopped counting

because i had finally assumed and adapted to my new job of full time mama and house wife

and now i am having to slowly adapt to a new job and a big change in my/our lives

things at work are going well

i think the hardest part is having to stand on my feet for eight hours straight

when i get home anywhere between 6 and 6:30pm, we have dinner like usual, Lily goes to bed at around 8pm like usual and i have been falling dead asleep by 9:30pm

not like usual

i sleep hard for about 4-5 hours and have been waking every night this week between 2-3am filled with anxiety and not being able to go to sleep for almost 2 hours only having to wake up at 6am to start the day

all the extra planning that now takes place in our lives is overwhelming

the lack of time i now have to take care of family things puts me in panic mode

sometimes while standing for hours at work with no customers in sight i can’t help but to think and feel like i should be somewhere else

doing something else

like planning Lily’s 9th birthday party, grocery shopping, laundry, prepping dinner….

it is all overwhelming to me at the moment

but so was early motherhood

so hopefully it will get easier

or at least i will learn to adapt

i hope

happy friday and happy weekend friends

a family night out

cocktails on an asheville rooftop

in her art studio

late summer/early autumn flowers

a miami style art scene in asheville. finally

sunday morning cuddles in our bed

making all the prints for her booth at the big crafty in december