life

march thirtieth two thousand four

overlooking new york city from hoboken new jersey on a cold winter day i sat there next to him as he slowly broke my heart into a million pieces

my heart felt like the broken frozen ice on the hudson river

thin and shattered

after seven years of being together, the man who i had been married to for five years was now telling me that he no longer wanted to be married and that he was no longer in love with me

it wasn’t my first time getting my heart broken but you are never prepared for such a thing and part of me died again that day

eight years have now passed since that cold day and just like birthdays of loved ones, graduation dates, wedding dates and many important dates in my life, march thirtieth of two thousand four will always be a date i will remember

it was a date when part of me died and was reborn all at the same time

as i sat there listening to his words, i couldn’t help but think that i must leave

i must pack up all my things and start over

start over under blue skies and palm trees

and here i am today

living a new life, with a wonderful new husband and a magical daughter

under blue skies and palm trees

so…

life with a two year old

it’s challenging to say the least

yes, it’s a wonderful age

an age of curiosity and fast development and i don’t necessarily miss the baby years but definitely miss the easiness of a baby

dealing with a strong willed Lily these days is like dealing with the teenager she will possibly turn into and it scares the shit out me

she is pushing us hard these days

not listening

not listening and then full on saying “no” when asked if she is listening

with her face turned to the side so she won’t even look at us

trying to say the least

those sleepless breast feeding nights seem easy compared to how things are now

but it’s all a phase

i know it will get easier

and then harder once again

such is life and it’s evolution

if any of you reading this are new moms, enjoy those sleepless nights and those day naps

it all goes by too fast

and i too will enjoy/be tortured by our two year old

because she won’t be two forever either