i felt like i was robbed of an hour all day long yesterday
we woke up at 8:30 (the new 7:30) and i felt like i had no morning
i felt like i was constantly chasing time
the hour difference messes with my mind and my routine
the picture you see above of Lily’s room is exactly how i felt yesterday
it probably didn’t help that our new coffee roast was too strong and gave me the jitters for most of the day
how do you feel about daylight savings?
and it’s ok if she doesn’t play with other kids e-ve-ry day
and it’s ok if she watches sesame street some mornings
and it’s ok for her to play in her room by herself
so i can do things like paint and make jewelry
because it’s not ALL about Lily
it’s about me too
and she has to fit in my life like i have fit in hers
i wasn’t sure if i could ever (ever) love another like i love Lily
i wasn’t sure if i wanted to lose myself again after i just got myself back
i wasn’t sure if i could be a good mother to two since sometimes i feel like i’m not even being a good mother to one
then for the past two weeks my body was acting all funny
signs of pms but times 100
i thought, maybe?
could i be?
and the feeling of excitement over the possibility of being pregnant returned
the picture you see above is from this morning
i’m not pregnant
but when i went to bed last night and when i woke up this morning i wanted to be
and that just shows me that i can love another like i love Lily
and it shows me that i am ready and have changed my mind
and that makes me happy
(coincidentally, today, three years ago was when we found out we were pregnant with Lily)
While Lily took a long nap yesterday, I thought about how miraculous life is.
I mean, it REALLY is!!
I think we are often so caught up in every day life that we forget to think about and appreciate things.
Months before I got pregnant with Lily, I had a miscarriage.
Then, on March 02 2009, a day after Will proposed to me, I found out I was pregnant! 🙂
To go from nothing, to a little fetus, to a bigger fetus, to a baby…
Life… it is such a miracle!
March 02 2009