mother

That mom

I would like to write about THAT mom.

You know, the one who is constantly criticizing and bashing you as a mom because she thinks she is a better mom than you?

Yes, THAT mom.

The one who thinks your house and your family’s house is too dirty for her child to be in but meanwhile she throws dirty diapers down the hall way. And leaves them there.

The one who criticizes you for drinking a dark beer while still breast feeding your baby but you clearly remember her downing 2 glasses of wine during bath time with her own baby while she herself was still breast feeding too.

The one who gives her child family size bags of cheese doodles to eat, takes her child to chick-fil-a at least once a week but then questions if her child is eating vegetables in your care.

The one who talks bad about your 2 year old having hand-foot-and-mouth disease but in the mean while dismisses the fact that her own child has had countless UTI’s, skin rashes and enemas due to constipation.

The one who lashes out because her child is playing with non bpa free toys in your care but in her own house, her child sleeps in a cheap plastic bed and has a room the size of an apartment filled with nothing but plastic toys that most likely are not bpa free.

Yeah, you know THAT mom. (if you don’t you are blessed)

THAT mom will always criticize you and bash the mom you are but you know what? Don’t let her get to you.

You know the mom YOU are and you know the mom SHE is.

And yes, this is a bit of a passive aggressive post but I needed to write it. I feel much better now. (smile)

Growing pains

Did any of you experience growing pains when you were little?

Ever since I can remember anything (age 4-5), I remember having growing pains.

They would happen at night and they were so painful that they would make me scream and cry for my mom.

My mom would come into my room and rub my legs and soothe me back to sleep.

I believe Lily has been experiencing growing pains at night.

During the past 2 weeks, she will wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying for me.

When I go in to check on her, she is shaking her legs and crying “mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy….”

The only thing I can do is to do what my mom did to me, I rub her legs a bit and soothe her back to sleep.

Although Lily is the one going through the physical growing pains right now, I too hurt just from watching how fast she is growing.

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Struggling…

You would think that after 1.5 years I would be well settled into motherhood but, I still struggle.

I struggle with the fact that being a wife and a mother is the only thing that seems to define me these days.

Please don’t get me wrong, they are both wonderful things and I am both but I also used to be more.

I still struggle with the fact that I don’t make an income and I am financially dependent on Will.

I struggle with the fact that I don’t find time to be creative and paint like I used to.

I struggle with the fact at the end of the day I am exhausted and there is nothing left within me.

I struggle!

Because I struggle, I get all emotionally worked up and overwhelmed so, this weekend I took a break from both Will and Lily.

On both saturday and sunday while Will and Lily were out and about, I sat home and thought about why I struggle so much and what I can do to change that.

Trying to find balance in it all is the key and is something that I will have to work harder on.

This is what “they” mean when “they” say that you can’t be selfish in parenting.

Lily comes first and that’s the way it should be.

But, in order for me to be able to give her my all, I have to feel my all.

Lately, I haven’t been feeling my all.

Mother’s day

Oh, where can I start?

I had such a great mother’s day yesterday.

We started with a brunch at home at 11am which consisted of bloody maries, pancakes, sausage, bagels and fritatta.

We all hung out on the balcony while Lily took her afternoon nap (2 hours) and then headed over to Jimbo’s.

Yup, I chose to go to Jimbo’s for mother’s day.

I don’t need a fancy place, I would much rather hang out somewhere where 4 beers and a big chunk of smoked tuna costs $16.00.

I had not been to Jimbo’s since the late 90’s and well, nothing much has changed other than the fact that there were a couple more trailers, house boats and people hanging out.

We drank beer, ate smoked fish, played bocci ball and took turns taking pictures.

I couldn’t have asked for a better day.

Hope all you mamas had a great mother’s day also.

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Happy mother’s day!

When I was 18, if someone had come up to me and told me that I would one day marry a West Virginian, have a beautiful daughter and live in Miami, I probably would have thought they were crazy and laugh in their face.

My life now is nothing like I imagined it to be, it’s way better.

Motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me and it is nowhere near what I thought it was going to be like.

All the daily joys and emotions I experience because of it, there are no words for it.

I may remember and forget many moments but, there is one moment that is always with me.

The moment in the picture below.

Me with Will, Lily moments after she was born, my mom and my mother in law.

My mom and my mother in law, 2 moms watching their grand daughter be born.

My mom watching her own daughter give birth.

I hope to one day experience that with Lily.

Happy Mother’s day!